Family, FAR Photography, Fathers, Parenting

Fathers Day Tribute

Having lost my own Father, just over a year ago makes this time of celebration, bitter-sweet. It is in the memories that we are made to reflect on our own experiences and the relationship we have had, with this all important person in our life.

For my girls their Dad is an integral part of everything they do, they always look to him for acceptance and affirmation. He is always there as a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and a comedian to make them laugh. I do not think that one can under-estimate the influence that their Dad has on their lives. That is why it is so important to always encourage a strong Father – Daughter relationship.

Whether you call him Father or Dad it is all the same, he can mean so many things to different people. Today we reflect on what makes him so wonderful:

What Makes A Dad

“God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it … Dad”

~ Author Unknown

Today we want to say thank you to all these strong and generous Fathers in our lives, some have more than just one. You mean so much to us and words can never do justice to all we want to convey.

A FATHER MEANS…

“A Father means so many things…
An understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support
Right from the very start.
A constant readiness to help
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity and always affection, too
A Father means so many things
When he’s a man like you…”
~Author Unknown~

A fathers love is eternal and lives on in the hope and dreams of his children. [box] Colossians 3:14 “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”[/box]

A Message To Our Special Dad:

“To Dad – thank you for loving me and caring for me! All my love Jessi”

“Dear Dad – I hope you have a great Fathers Day and may everyday be as special as today! All my love Alli”

Happy Fathers Day!

Children, Family, Parenting

But Mom….

Recently I have found myself rather frustrated when trying to communicate with my two girls. They are 7 and 10 years old, which would lead you to believe, that by now they should have developed outstanding listening skills. However, to my disappointment, it seems that this is not the case.

When trying to get their attention, I mostly receive a rather blank stare or a reply that starts with “but Mom”, followed by some explanation as to why they are not able to listen at that particular moment. So I find myself searching for other methods to communicate with them. By now I must admit that raising your voice or “shouting”, as my eldest calls it and believe me it is not shouting, comes to no avail.

What I do realise, is that they would rather be somewhere else than having to listen to me lecturing them on the merits of cleaning their room or studying, for that very important test. It is however, vitally important that we are able to communicate openly and effectively with our children, especially as they approach the delicate teenage years.

During their earlier years of development I pretty much read all the parenting books on offer, especially those dealing with sleep methods. As my Paediatrician, at the time, pointed out, by the time you have tried all the methods and remedies on hand they should be sleeping through. Whether this is due to you, discovering the right sleep methods or your child simply forming a good sleep pattern on their own, is something you will probably never know. I guess this could be said for so many other parenting challenges we may face.

The further along the parenting road I travel; I am starting to think that if we are patient enough, our children will develop certain skills on their own without our assistance. However being the loving parent I am, I still feel the need to assist their every step. I am speaking from my own experiences and this probably will not apply to some.

So here I am again scouring all the resources available to me and the most common advice that I have come across, is listen to your children. Every fibre of my being is questioning this statement, how can I listen to them if they are not listening to me? Yes I do realise how child–like that may sound but I am sure you are probably wondering the same thing. I guess that in essence if you listen to them, you may better understand where they are coming from and more easily find the solution to the issue.

I have found that to achieve any meaningful level of communication I have to remain calm and most importantly make eye–contact with the girls. This is probably the most vital part of knowing, that what you are saying is actually being received and understood. I understand this approach is not always the easiest or most practical but, in my opinion, achieves far greater results.

I have found some interesting advice on the subject, on a web site, that expands on what I have discussed and gives practical methods to help you communicate with your child. For example: you should address your child by their name, keep your instructions short and to the point and always ask them to repeat the instruction back to you, to ascertain whether they are taking it on board. Follow this link to read further: 25 WAYS TO TALK SO YOUR CHILDREN WILL LISTEN.

Some of these methods do apply to younger children but you can easily adapt it to your situation or need. I understand that most of the advice sounds so simple but perhaps it is in the simple things that we find the solutions.

I would love to hear any comments or advice you may have, on this or other parenting challenges you have experienced.

Family, Parenting

Self-worth

Definition: “Belief in self. Confidence in personal value and worth as an individual person”

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” ~Claude Bissell

I have been waiting around most of my life hoping that someone would grant me the opportunity to speak up and be heard. Until I realised that no one was going to “grant” me anything, if I wanted to be heard I would have to make my own opportunities.

I think that is why it took me so long to actually publish my blog, even thought I had written posts, I was not ready to share it with anyone. It all comes down to a healthy amount of self-confidence, believing in yourself and facing your fear of failure.

I am certain that even the most successful people have had moments of doubt, some time in their lives. It is all about overcoming the doubt and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

So why we are still faced with this issue in a world besieged with every form of self-help therapy known to man? There are so many people out there trying to teach us how to cope with failure and rejection: life coaches, motivational speakers etc. Yet we still find more and more people suffering in silence. Is it possible that we are too afraid to face our fears and admitting to a lack of confidence, would feel like failure in itself.

I believe that we are born with a sense of self – worth and as we grow, outside influences shape and mould this sense of self-worth. Where do we obtain our sense of worth from and how do these external influences affect us? Our parents play a very instrumental part in shaping our self-worth. Friends, teachers, media all play a part in how we perceive and value ourselves.

As parents we have the greatest opportunity to instil self- worth in our children by teaching them self-respect and confidence in their own abilities. I think it is vital that we do not allow the ‘world’ to dictate where our children draw their self-image from, and to not allow our children to fashion their behaviour on the likes of teenage celebrities. This is a very dangerous practice which in my opinion unravels all the principles and beliefs we impart to our children. Simply showing our children that they are loved and accepted will go a long way to shaping a healthy sense of self.

We need to believe that we were all made for a purpose and that we need to love and accept ourselves before anyone else can. This verse from the Bible says more than I can ever try and express:“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.Psalm 139 verse 14. We are “fearfully and wonderfully” created, this is our reality and no matter what life hands us, we are unique and amazing. Our contribution to the world no matter how big or small is significant.

What all this has made me realise, is that it is important, that I live life for me and not for others.

My husband – “the poet” wrote this wonderful poem which I would like to share with you:

To Live – by Grant Rossiter

If this day you can hope and pray

If this day you can find your way

If this day come what may

You can give life you’re very best shot

Then I know someday, you’ll look back and say

‘What a journey, I’ve accomplished a lot’

Along the way you might find you stray

Along the way working night and day

Along the way ‘How?’ you might say

If you can keep on no matter your lot

Then I know one day, you’ll look up and say

‘Thank you for all that I’ve got’

“The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one’s self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” ~Michelangelo

Be Inspired, Family, Love, Parenting

This Thing we call love

It all begins with a look or a gesture. Who knows what the outcome will be, but in the moment, no one cares. The feeling is overwhelming, like the feeling of falling and not being able to stop yourself. We all feel this way some time in our lives. Whether the feeling is directed at another person or an object of our affection. I think it is a blessing to find someone to love and who will return this love. True love is a dying concept in a world motivated by greed and an insatiable need for self -validation.

My greatest concern for my children, growing up in this cynical world, is that they will overlook true love. I would like them to find a love and bond that is as strong and sincere as the one I have found in my marriage. I guess I am a traditional girl with traditional views and expectations. We are living in such a fast-paced time and I think we lose sight of those, although simple, valuable aspects of life.

I remember when just enjoying a simple coffee or glass of wine with your loved one was the high light of your day or sometimes your week. I think in these simple pleasures you find the true meaning of love and acceptance, not the trappings that society dictates.

My wish for my girls; is that they would find their “prince charming” on his “white horse”, who would sweep them off their feet. Every girl wants to live the fairy tale, the big wedding and white picket fence. The reality is that the romance does fade but through hard work, love and respect, the “love” will last! I guess what I really want for them; is to meet a good man and enjoy the love and respect that I have and still do.

Family, Parenting

Am I enough?

I guess we feel that we need to choose a certain path to follow in our lives. This may include studying, marriage, a certain career path, children and so much more. The one thing we can be sure of is the uncertainty of it all! Where we begin our journey is mostly the same as where we end it. The bit in between is where the fun happens. I refer back to that saying “if it does not kill you, it will make you stronger.” Although in the face of adversity it feels easier to give up than carry on!

Where I find myself today is questioning this: am I enough? This is a very difficult and somewhat introspective question. Whether I will ever find an answer is questionable but I am up to the challenge of trying.

I have watched my daughters growing and see the pressure they face in the world today. This to is apparent in our lives as adults and I find myself feeling like I need to have more and do better. If I had to be truthful and ask myself where I thought I would be at this point in my life, would it be here? It is a very difficult question to answer, I would have to say yes and no.

I certainly expected myself to get married and have children. However have I ‘failed’ to achieve the other side of the dream I had for my life? I know that in looking at what I haven’t achieved high lights what I have. I remember hearing someone say that “I cannot let my children see me, not realising my dreams”. What a powerful and rather sobering thought. I guess the dreams we once had can change over time to come in line with the situation we find ourselves in. My journey may have begun as one path but I guess God has other plans for my life. I think it is deciding not to fight destiny but embrace it!