As a mom of two girls, one rapidly approaching her teens and the other puberty, I am often asked how I handle all the drama, that these tender years can bring with them. Well here are a few pearls of wisdom, things that I have learnt along the way – some lessons more painful than others!
- There comes a point in your parenting journey, especially as a mom of girls and tweens or teens, when you are going to have to say no, to things they would like or would like to do. You may very well have to disappoint your children but part of your job, as a parent, is to protect and guide them! Especially in their teenage years, children need to understand what is appropriate and what is not! That a skirt may be way too short and that their make-up is too heavy, you have to teach them right from wrong. I think this is sometimes harder for the parent than the child because you do not want to come across as the “dragon mom” but at the same time, “rather safe than sorry”. What you have to understand, is that children will try to push boundaries and assert themselves, which at times means standing your ground and not giving in.
- You are going to have to learn to share – everything! Clothing, makeup, shoes, even your husband – a good Father Daughter relationship is so important! The Barney saying “sharing is caring” comes to mind but there is a limit to everything! I grew up with a younger brother, so I never had to go hunting for my stuff. As a result, I am not used to sharing! This has been a huge learing curve for me. I think the important lesson here is to teach your children about personal space and how to respect yours and maintain theirs – in other words “to stay out of your stuff!”
- There may be times when your girls make you feel insecure, intimidated and even a tad jealous {I can see a few eyebrows being raised!}. This is not necessarily a bad thing but it will bring you to the realisation that you are indeed human! It can be tough when they fit into that size 32 that is a long-lost memory for you! ;-), or when they achieve that A Grade that you always wished you could growing up. The important thing is to talk about your feelings, not let them overwhelm you and try to not live vicariously through your children – get your own “life”!
- It is important, actually vitally important, to always maintain an open, honest relationship with your children – girls need to talk even if they say they don’t! It does not always have to be a world-changing, deep, meaningful conversation – just a “Hi how are you doing?” is enough sometimes! It often feels like you are unable to “get through” to your children but you can be assured that even if they do not appear to be listening to you, they are “hearing” you. So do not ever give up, keep communicating and you will get through to them!
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