This Thing we call love

It all begins with a look or a gesture. Who knows what the outcome will be, but in the moment, no one cares. The feeling is overwhelming, like the feeling of falling and not being able to stop yourself. We all feel this way some time in our lives. Whether the feeling is directed at another person or an object of our affection. I think it is a blessing to find someone to love and who will return this love. True love is a dying concept in a world motivated by greed and an insatiable need for self -validation.

My greatest concern for my children, growing up in this cynical world, is that they will overlook true love. I would like them to find a love and bond that is as strong and sincere as the one I have found in my marriage. I guess I am a traditional girl with traditional views and expectations. We are living in such a fast-paced time and I think we lose sight of those, although simple, valuable aspects of life.

I remember when just enjoying a simple coffee or glass of wine with your loved one was the high light of your day or sometimes your week. I think in these simple pleasures you find the true meaning of love and acceptance, not the trappings that society dictates.

My wish for my girls; is that they would find their “prince charming” on his “white horse”, who would sweep them off their feet. Every girl wants to live the fairy tale, the big wedding and white picket fence. The reality is that the romance does fade but through hard work, love and respect, the “love” will last! I guess what I really want for them; is to meet a good man and enjoy the love and respect that I have and still do.

Family

Unconditional Love

“Unconditional love” is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one’s qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother’s love for her newborn.

Unconditional love is often used to describe the love in an idealized romantic relationship. It may sometimes also be used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.”

We all have a fair understanding of what unconditional love means. As we see in the definition above, the best description is of a mothers love for her newborn child. Nothing prepares you for the deep love you feel immediately after your baby is born. Which does not mean that you are equipped to care for it, but this is where natural instincts kick in. It is similar to what we see in wild animals. A mother will do anything to protect her young in the wild and so too in humans we find such behaviour.

A wise woman recently highlighted a very important fact to me, that although we may feel this unconditional love, how often do we show it? As a parent of an older child I must admit that the closer my daughter gets to being a teenager the more difficult our relationship has become or should I say complicated! I have found that even though you feel the love you do not feel like showing the love. This is however the most important time to show unconditional love!

One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that I am, after all, the adult in this relationship, even though I may feel hurt or unloved by certain actions or words. I have to look beyond this and show that regardless of my feelings I can still love unconditionally – which at times is very hard to do. God said we are to love each other and if we stand by this it will strengthen our child – parent relationships over the long term. I am not saying that discipline is not important when parenting, but above all we need to remember to still love our children no matter what!

Family

Shades of pink

I never really expected to be surrounded by so much pink and like it! I am realising more and more that girls/woman are extremely complicated creatures. I can hear all the men saying; “excuse me can you please repeat that!!!” Yes I do admit that it has taken me the better part of 10 years to figure this out. I guess you never see what is right in front of you until you are confronted with mini versions of yourself. The closer girls get to puberty the more the nasty’s tend to present themselves, behaviour that we deny having gone through ourselves.

So I find myself with all these conflicting emotions on how to handle these very tricky situations. Part of me, I guess the intellect, says you have to deal with conflict head on but the heart says just love them and it will all work out in the end. It is very hard to admit but mostly I feel completely out of my depth. In our household of late there has been a great deal of discussion on how to deal with your emotions, how to treat one another and the need to respect ones elders. I feel that these are life lessons that are best learnt at an early age; I know some adults who could still use a few of these lessons!

It is only through prayer and a strong grounded marital relationship that we are able to parent these beautiful, although complicated, girls that we have been given to raise.

Have an awesome day!

Family

Inspirational words for the day

The Love of a Mother

Anonymous

A Mother’s love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain

It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away

It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking

It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems

It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation

A many splendor miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God’s tender guiding hand.

Family, Parenting

Am I enough?

I guess we feel that we need to choose a certain path to follow in our lives. This may include studying, marriage, a certain career path, children and so much more. The one thing we can be sure of is the uncertainty of it all! Where we begin our journey is mostly the same as where we end it. The bit in between is where the fun happens. I refer back to that saying “if it does not kill you, it will make you stronger.” Although in the face of adversity it feels easier to give up than carry on!

Where I find myself today is questioning this: am I enough? This is a very difficult and somewhat introspective question. Whether I will ever find an answer is questionable but I am up to the challenge of trying.

I have watched my daughters growing and see the pressure they face in the world today. This to is apparent in our lives as adults and I find myself feeling like I need to have more and do better. If I had to be truthful and ask myself where I thought I would be at this point in my life, would it be here? It is a very difficult question to answer, I would have to say yes and no.

I certainly expected myself to get married and have children. However have I ‘failed’ to achieve the other side of the dream I had for my life? I know that in looking at what I haven’t achieved high lights what I have. I remember hearing someone say that “I cannot let my children see me, not realising my dreams”. What a powerful and rather sobering thought. I guess the dreams we once had can change over time to come in line with the situation we find ourselves in. My journey may have begun as one path but I guess God has other plans for my life. I think it is deciding not to fight destiny but embrace it!